May 2012
17 posts
“I bleed just to know I’m alive.”
I wish
that I was good enough for you.
that you needed me the way I need you.
that it didn’t hurt when you forgot my birthday.
that I was more important than your work.
that you could love me more than her.
that I was your “one.”
that you wouldn’t go away again.
That feeling...
It’s that feeling, the tightening in your throat, the fire in your chest, the razor sharp sting of knowing in your heart that you are the one who is far more in love. I can tell you first hand, that feeling… it will tear you apart inside.
April 2012
6 posts
“We all have scars don’t we?
I prefer the kind I can see,
to help me...”
waited
lost hope
let go
November 2011
6 posts
There are times when I wake up and I realize you are not there. There is no real way to explain that crushing weight or the way every breath hurts.
I wonder if you’ve ever felt the same way. Then I remember, of course you have, and that it had nothing to do with me.
I understand.
I’m just the epilogue. The postlude.
Sometimes, when I am beyond exhaustion, when I am out of tears and out of hope, I close my eyes. I make believe you are here and I can fall asleep.
But when I wake, I am overwhelmed by the reality. It becomes so hard to breathe that I am far better off not to have slept at all.
I should be crying, but I just can’t let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can’t stop thinking
Of all the things I should’ve said,
But I never said.
All the things we should’ve done,
But we never did.
All the things I should’ve given,
But I didn’t.
Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.
October 2011
9 posts
Alone and sleepless.
It's heartbreaking to admit...
I cant make you happy. I can’t give you what you need. You deserve so much better.
One day you’ll see. Then you’re bound to leave.
September 2011
4 posts
To be clear...
I’d happily take second place so that I might keep you in my life.
While I may not be yours,
You are, without question, my one true love.
Never.
I will never be able to live up to “what could’ve been.”
Even at my best, I will never be as good as your past.
I will never be more than the counterfeit. The wrong one. The pseudo-soulmate.
You can love me, but I will never have your whole heart. It belongs to someone else.
July 2011
8 posts
“It will never work.”
