November 2011
6 posts
There are times when I wake up and I realize you are not there. There is no real way to explain that crushing weight or the way every breath hurts.
I wonder if you’ve ever felt the same way. Then I remember, of course you have, and that it had nothing to do with me.
I understand.
I’m just the epilogue. The postlude.
Sometimes, when I am beyond exhaustion, when I am out of tears and out of hope, I close my eyes. I make believe you are here and I can fall asleep.
But when I wake, I am overwhelmed by the reality. It becomes so hard to breathe that I am far better off not to have slept at all.
I should be crying, but I just can’t let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can’t stop thinking
Of all the things I should’ve said,
But I never said.
All the things we should’ve done,
But we never did.
All the things I should’ve given,
But I didn’t.
Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.
October 2011
9 posts
Alone and sleepless.
It's heartbreaking to admit...
I cant make you happy. I can’t give you what you need. You deserve so much better.
One day you’ll see. Then you’re bound to leave.
September 2011
4 posts
To be clear...
I’d happily take second place so that I might keep you in my life.
While I may not be yours,
You are, without question, my one true love.
Never.
I will never be able to live up to “what could’ve been.”
Even at my best, I will never be as good as your past.
I will never be more than the counterfeit. The wrong one. The pseudo-soulmate.
You can love me, but I will never have your whole heart. It belongs to someone else.
July 2011
8 posts
“It will never work.”
June 2011
8 posts
Two Weeks
Two amazing weeks of kissing you as often as I wanted, holding your hand in the car, cooking breakfast together, and seeing your perfect smile after a long day at work. We painted a vivid picture of a future together, and it could not be more perfect. You belong here, we fit together flawlessly, you balance me, give me a sense of direction, and a feeling of purpose.
Two weeks have passed since I...
Broken.
You are here, like a dream, and in an instant, you are gone again. I’m trying to pick up the pieces but the truth is, I just don’t think I am strong enough.
I’m tired of dreaming about the way things used to be. My head knows it’s over. But my silly heart keeps hanging on.
May 2011
14 posts
“I’m so hollow, Baby. I’m so hollow.”
Last night I learned that it’s impossible to run out of tears.
April 2011
10 posts
