There are times when I wake up and I realize you are not there. There is no real way to explain that crushing weight or the way every breath hurts.
I wonder if you’ve ever felt the same way. Then I remember, of course you have, and that it had nothing to do with me.
I understand.
I’m just the epilogue. The postlude.
Sometimes, when I am beyond exhaustion, when I am out of tears and out of hope, I close my eyes. I make believe you are here and I can fall asleep.
But when I wake, I am overwhelmed by the reality. It becomes so hard to breathe that I am far better off not to have slept at all.
I should be crying, but I just can’t let it show.
I should be hoping, but I can’t stop thinking
Of all the things I should’ve said,
But I never said.
All the things we should’ve done,
But we never did.
All the things I should’ve given,
But I didn’t.
Oh, darling, make it go,
Make it go away.
I started crying and I couldn’t stop myself.
I started running but there’s nowhere to run to.
